


The Afterglow of Defeat

by Nebbles



Series: What Lies at the End [3]
Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Gen, a continuing story in the "deliverance fails" au where clive becomes a tyrant after mathilda's death, pain and tears for everyone!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 20:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13395921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: All Alm knows now, is that he’s so, so tired. He wants to stop running. But he’s terrified of what’s waiting for him. He’s not sure what lies at the end.





	The Afterglow of Defeat

On a particularly grey afternoon, Alm finds himself leaning against a wall of a shrine, blessed to have a moment of safety. The past few days to find shelter had been such an event, it felt too good to be true. He looks over the group – the small, ragtag group that made it this far.

He counts the living. Him, Clair, Tobin, Kliff. Four. He’s unsure what happened to the Deliverance – ex-Deliverance, he thinks – when he was essentially forced out. He doesn’t know if they’re alive.

He hopes they are. He hopes they’re okay.

Python, Forsyth and Lukas were still under Clive’s thumb, last he knew. Luthier left them the instant they failed to rescue Delthea. Most of the army split off after Alm left, as an act of defiance to Clive’s new, oppressive rule. Alm remembers the icy stare all too well, and it chills him to the core more than the bitter outside air. Mathilda’s death wasn’t his fault – or at least, that’s what everyone told him. He wanted to see the world, to see life outside Ram Village, but now he’s wondering if he really should have left at all.

All Alm knows now, is that he’s so, so tired. He wants to stop running. But he’s terrified of what’s waiting for him. He’s not sure what lies at the end. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else; he can’t stomach the thought. It was hard enough the first time, the second, the third…

“Alm.” He’s ripped back into reality by a shaky voice. “There’s people outside.”

Alm visibly pales, eyes wide at an equally afraid Tobin standing before him. It hits him how much Tobin’s changed since Gray’s death. He’s quiet and reserved, uncertain of things as his scratched up hands wring uncomfortably together.

“Stay here. Stay with the others. I’ll go look,” Alm slowly stands up. He sees the panic in Tobin’s eyes, the silent pleading of them to hide and wait. If it’s Clive, they don’t want another death on their hands. “Listen, whoever it is, I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Alm, if you die, we can’t…” Tobin’s voice sounds so scared. “Please don’t. We can hide.”

“Tobin, it could be help. There’s no way Clive can find us right now, I promise.” Alm needs some shred of hope to cling to. “Maybe it’s some other deserters who lost their way, too.”

Tobin just nods feebly, still picking at his hands. Alm looks over them briefly, telling him to ask Kliff to practice healing on them once more before he heads out to the entrance of the shrine. With all the courage he’s got left, Alm takes a cautious step outside, blade in hand.

“W-who goes there?!” Alm’s arm shoots up in front of him. He’s not used to hearing such a commanding aura from his voice. It’s been a while, after all.

“Hey, hey,” he recognizes the voice. Alm’s panicked gaze meets Python, who’s holding up his arms in defense. Forsyth and Lukas are behind him, and they’re possibly in worse shape than any of his friends are. “We didn’t come all this way just for you to stab us, y’know.”

“Python…” Alm’s sword clatters to the ground. “How… how did you guys get here? How did you find us? A-are Lukas and Forsyth alright?”

“One question at a time, please.” Python looks exhausted himself. “Listen, we need to rest too. I’ll talk, but… don’t expect either of them to say much.”

Alm takes another glance at the two. Forsyth’s cheerful demeanor is fully stripped from him. All that’s left on his face is the expression of someone who’s lost too much too fast. Lukas’s expression is unreadable – that is, there’s nothing to read. His face is a blank slate. It’s better to see them alive than not, but to see such a change in attitude hurts.

“Okay. Here, I’ll… let you see everyone.” Alm slowly leads the trio in, not after requesting their weapons remain at their side. It’s his paranoia talking, his fear that the tip of lance or an arrow will find its way into whoever’s left. He knows the three wouldn’t do that, but the idea crosses his mind and he doesn’t quite want to risk it.

When deeper into the recesses of the shrine, Python stops to count three other people. He sees Clair, Kliff, and Tobin. There’s an expression on his face, one of apprehension as he turns to Alm, “You said everyone. Is… this it?”

Alm gives him a slow nod.

Python hisses a swear under his breath. He gently asks Lukas and Forsyth to go sit down and rest, to sit with the others. He thinks they’re relieved to see Clair and the others, but honestly, he can’t tell. The small emotion he was able to pry out of Forsyth didn’t seem to be around anymore, and Lukas was still numb. It’s somewhat of a comfort to see the others scramble over to Lukas and Forsyth, saying they’re happy they’re alive and well.

He looks over to Alm, “If you don’t mind, we should move somewhere else. I figure I should let you know what… happened, and why we’re here. And I want to know what happened to you too.”

Python’s sudden leadership throws Alm off, but he supposes he can’t be too shocked. It doesn’t seem like Lukas or Forsyth had any capacity to take charge at the moment.

Alm starts a small fire as Python sits across from him. It’s clear neither of them really want to start first, but Alm figures he should.

It’s his friends that are dead, after all.

“When we first left, we had no idea where to go. We just moved where we could, trying to survive against the growing number of Rigelian soldiers…” Alm draws his knees to his chest. “At first, we were okay. But there’s only so much we could’ve handled… and we didn’t realize that until, well… we lost Gray.”

“I’m sorry,” Python looks at him.

“We were flanked by a small army of archers. Clair was in danger of getting hit, and Gray took a hit for her. He was fine enough with the first hit, and we were able to clear some of the other archers. …we didn’t expect them to have a witch. The next thing we knew…”

\--

“Gray?! GRAY!” Tobin’s the first to push everyone to the side as he scrambles to the floor, picking up Gray’s body in his arms. “Y-you gotta speak to me, man! Gray!”

Clair’s silent, her hands cupped over her mouth as tears sting the corners of her eyes.

“H-hey, Tobi-poo.” Gray’s able to laugh, although it’s followed by a wheeze. “A little fire spell like that ain’t gonna hurt me, promise. I know we don’t have Silque around, but… you think something like this is gonna stop me?”

“Gray…” Tobin’s voice cracks, “You’re… you’re bleeding. Really badly. And you’re burnt, and…”

“I’ve had worse scrapes training with you and Kliff,” he laughs again, and Tobin wants to scream when Gray stops to cough and there’s blood coming out.

“Y-yeah, but we had someone to heal you! We don’t anymore! Faye can’t handle healing something like this!” Tobin doesn’t want to make Gray accept that he’s dying, but he doesn’t want to fool himself into thinking Gray’s going to live either. “Why did you do that, you idiot?”

“I… I couldn’t let any of you guys die… Clair’s been through enough. And she needs to live and make sure she takes her knave of a brother down. And you gotta be there for Alm, right?” Gray coughs again, into his hands, realizing that oh, there’s blood. He knows that’s not a good sign. “We made it through the fight, didn’t we?”

“We did, but… this isn’t worth it,” Tobin tries to desperately blink the tears away from his eyes. He wants to see Gray in his final moments. “Losing you isn’t worth it, Gray.”

He offers naught but a sad smile. “I… I’m sorry. To both of you. Clair, I’m… sorry. You deserved better than me nagging at your ear.”

“Y-you fool! Do you think apologizing is going to make me forgive you for getting yourself killed?” Clair can feel the ache in her heart as her voice echoes through the clearing.

“Of course not. But I’m sorry,” he looks over at Tobin. “I know we wanted to win this war for Alm, together… but…” He coughs again. There’s more blood. “I have something to ask you.”

“I… w-what is it…?” Tobin blinks away more tears, realizing they’re dripping onto Gray’s shirt below him.

“Please tell my family what happened. Please write them a letter for me…” He can only imagine the pain on his family’s face. He hates to put this burden on Tobin. “I-I don’t wanna make Alm do it…”

Tobin blearily looks over to Alm, who is dead silent as he’s watching one of his childhood friends slip away.

“…I will. I’ll tell them you… y-you died heroically,” Tobin allows himself another sniff. Gray’s breaths are getting more ragged, and he doesn’t have a lot of time left.

“Thanks, buddy.” Gray tries to smile again, but it’s pained this time. “…make sure everyone wins this for me.”

Tobin’s shaking so hard, at this point, Alm has to gently take Gray’s body from him. Alm quietly murmurs they should bury him when they have a moment’s safety. He hears Faye weep in the background, apologizing that she couldn’t manage to heal him. She was told to stop – they can’t have her die, either. Kliff’s more silent than usual. Tobin’s own vision blurs as sobs wrack his entire body, and Clair softly weeps besides him.

The morning after, Gray’s body is buried.

-

Besides the crackling of the fire, silence hangs over Python like a curtain. He looks at Alm with a thoroughly shocked expression. It’s worrying how calmly Alm was able to retell that – maybe it’s because he’s growing as numb as Python is.

“Gods,” is all he’s able to say.

“I miss him. We all do. Tobin hasn’t spoken more than a damn sentence in weeks. The most I heard him talk was just earlier, when he said there were people here,” Alm looks into the flames sadly. “He’s changed so much.”

Python’s afraid to ask what happened to Faye, but he does anyway.

-

A week or so after Gray’s death, another ambush finds its way to Alm’s group.

Fighting with one less body makes their odds less better, and Faye can only heal them for so long. Her body was hardly able to keep up with the magic consumption, and exhaustion was settling in her body. But after watching Gray go, and with Silque still missing, she just can’t give up. She doesn’t want to let anyone down.

They’re huddled away in some remote cave, tired and bloodied. Somehow, an escape was possible, and refuge was found.

Alm’s ready to count his blessings they made it out okay enough, and then Faye suddenly collapses on the floor.

Alm gently sits her up, despite the oncoming panic. “F-Faye? Are you alright?”

When she opens her eyes, Alm and the others are surrounding her, worry evident on their faces.

She wants to say she’s alright, but she feels so incredibly faint. “I-I’m fine! I just… got dizzy, that’s all.”

“You look pale as a sheet, Faye. And you’re freezing…” Alm frowns. “Please don’t tell me you overexerted yourself. We… don’t have a lot of medicine left.”

“I know… but after losing Gray, I just… I just couldn’t bear to see anyone else die. I’ve already lost a friend. I can’t lose you guys either…” Faye’s words are soft. “I’m… sorry…”

“You can’t do that to yourself. Magic doesn’t come cheap,” Kliff frowns at her. It’s not a frown of disappointment – it’s one full of worry. “You can’t die on us either.”

“I-I know, I know, but…” Faye can’t muster up a reasonable explanation, but she figures this is less painful than watching someone else die. “I-I’m so sorry. I don’t… think I can make it much longer.”

“…can’t we do anything?” Clair asks. “We must have something left.”

“This isn’t like a cold. She’s used up nearly her entire life energy keeping us alive.” Alm speaks up again. “…is this because… of what happened with Gray?”  


“I-I couldn’t… I didn’t want to see that again. I know it sounds selfish, but…” She sighs, taking in a deep breath as her body begins to feel heavy. “I just want you guys to get home safely.”

“You should be coming home with us,” is the singular reply they hear from Tobin.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to,” she says sadly. She knows she’ll be gone within the hour. Her body feels like lead. “Just let my family know. Please.”

“…of course. I’ll let them know you died protecting us.” Alm gives a slow, sad nod.

“Thank you, Alm. …thank you, everyone. Win this war for Zofia, okay?”

And those were the last words she spoke.

-

Alm feels a hand rest on his shoulder; Python’s looking at him sadly now. He doesn’t have words for the unimaginable pain Alm went through – twice, watching your childhood friends wither away in your arms. Python could only count his blessings that both Lukas and Forsyth were alive. Had they died, he feared for what his anger would do unchecked. All he could see was Clive’s body on the receiving end of a volley of arrows.

“I’m… gods, Alm, I don’t even know what to say. And I wish you knew where Silque was… maybe when we can, we’ll try to find her,” he gleaned from both stories, she had disappeared at some point before Gray’s death.

“I don’t even know if she’d be alive… she might’ve had the same fate as Faye.” Alm doesn’t even look up at him.

“We should still look. You never know.” Python tries to assure him. It’s all he has left. He’s done nothing but reassure Lukas and Forsyth that things would be okay either. If he has to repeat the mantra to Alm, he’ll gladly do so.

“I… I guess. But I don’t know when we should even leave. It’s safe here.” And safety was something Alm horribly needed to feel.

“This place has seen its better days. You can’t stay here forever.” Python wonders if his own place is big enough to fit everyone. “Can I ask why you’re holed up in such a sorry looking shrine?”

“Tobin heard there was a revival fountain here. He wanted to find it and try to bring them back, but… it was ruined. The fountain was in shambles. He tried putting it back together… and, well, that explains why his hands are like that. I had to stop him before he tore the skin off.” Alm sighs. “He had one spark of hope – and it was crushed, and he’s been despondent ever since.”

“Geez…” Python thought of his own hands – scarred beyond belief from an arrow slinging habit that he hasn’t quite broken. He quietly puts his hands in his lap, not wanting Alm to notice – it’s not something Alm needs to hear at the moment. The only person he wanted to know was Forsyth – the only one who got to see how deep the hurt was him, and no one else.

“…anyway, that’s enough about my end. How are Lukas and Forsyth – er, I guess I should ask if they’re going to be alright.” Alm does notice Python awkwardly shoves his bandaged hands in his lap, but doesn’t question it for now.

“Gods. Who knows? Forsyth seemed like he was going to be alright for a bit, but he shut down again a while ago and I haven’t gotten him to break out of his shell since. Lukas has spoken less than Tobin.” Python huffs a sigh of his own.

Alm gives a small frown. “That’s horrible… I can’t even imagine how they must feel.”

“Forsyth doesn’t even know what being a knight means anymore. His idea of knighthood, his dreams… they’re gone. I’ve tried to tell him that he can still be a knight, on his own, but I don’t think he believes me anymore. And he’s still so hurt about stupid Clive…” Python hates him with every fiber of his being. He can’t find room in his heart to pity him. “Lukas doesn’t even know what to do. I refuse to let his horrible family get a hold of him again. I know he’s putting on a placid face for us all, but there’s no way this is easy on him.”

Alm vaguely recalls Lukas telling him about his less-than-pleasant family. The idea of Lukas going back there makes him angry, too. He thinks of Forsyth, so once full of energy and life, to be reduced to a broken shell. This wasn’t easy on any of them. It wasn’t fair. Nobody deserves their life – their dreams to be crushed like this.

“The only reason I finally convinced those two we needed to leave fast was because Clive hit Lukas.” Python hears an audible gasp from Alm – a sharp, sudden exhale of anger. “Lukas argued with him about how harming innocents wasn’t going to help us win this war. It escalated. Clive smacked him. I grabbed him and Forsyth later that night, and I haven’t looked back since.”

“And what about you?” Alm asks quietly, after assuming there wasn’t much left to say about Lukas and Forsyth. Nothing that Python wants to divulge, anyway.

“Heh. That’s a long story.” Python offers something of a wry smile. “I’d rather not talk about myself right now.”

Alm gets the vague notion it has to do with the tattered bandages on Python’s hand, but doesn’t utter a word. Before Python hid them from view, Alm swore the faintest tinge of red was painted around his palms. He’s concerned, but now isn’t the time.

“What matters more is that we’re reunited. We’re all in shambles, yeah, but at least that’s better than any other option right now. We can rest, and when we’re ready, we can continue to fight.” There’s an air of determination in Python’s words. He wants to see Clive rot. He wants this horrible war to end, and if he has to kill Clive for it, there would be no hesitation. “We’re going to end this, somehow.”

“I hope you’re right. I want to see Celica. I want to make sure she’s alright, and… I just want to go home…” Python remembers that Alm is only seventeen. He’s too young for this. Hardly a young adult, and he’s seen two of his closest friends die. A boy his age should not have to experience such tragedy, and yet, it has happened. This, combined with his own hurt, strengthens Python’s resolve to ensure no one else will slip away.

“We’ll get there one day,” Python reassures. “For now, I think you should join the others and rest. You need it.”

“What about you? I’m shocked you aren’t itching for a nap.” Alm does remember, before any of this happened, Python was liable to laze about nearly anywhere.

“Someone needs to keep watch. I don’t mind, and I’m not tired.” He’s exhausted, actually, but doesn’t let Alm know that. “If you’re that worried, come switch shifts or something after you’ve slept for a bit. Now go.”

Alm wants to protest, but he just wordlessly nods as he slowly stands up. He waves a goodbye, thanking Python for listening as he melts back into the inky darkness of the shrine.

Python looks back at the fire, slowly pulling his hands out into the light. The bandages need to be replaced, and he doesn’t want to bother Forsyth. He’s shoddy at fixing his own wounds, and knows that he really shouldn’t be picking up a bow anytime soon. He’s angry and hurt, and wants to find a tree to fill with arrows, but resists. He inhales deeply, squeezing his hands shut as he imagines the hurt Forsyth would feel if he found out the habit was still there.

He sits by the fire in silence, and wishes for a better tomorrow. 


End file.
